"Why Can’t Everyone Just Be Quiet for Five Minutes?" (…And Other Honest Thoughts You’re Allowed to Have as a Parent)

Ever feel like your child’s shrill shrieks make you want to leave the room?

Maybe it’s the loud music, the flashing lights, the non-stop bouncing or climbing—when all you’re craving is some peace, quiet, and stillness. Perhaps your child wants more, more, more when your system is begging for less.

I get it. I really do.

When you're living in a home with multiple needs flying around, it can feel like everyone’s on a different wavelength. One child is crashing around, another is whining, and maybe you’re just trying to hold it together while the noise, demands, and overstimulation creep higher and higher.

Add in the after-school crash, hunger, tiredness, sibling clashes... and it's no wonder things can spiral.

We are all sensory beings—with our own nervous systems, our own thresholds, and our own windows of tolerance. And those windows? They’re not fixed. They shift from day to day, moment to moment, sense to sense.

That’s why we need to approach family life with curiosity instead of judgment, and start building awareness—of our own needs and our children’s—and develop a toolkit that actually works for our homes.

So let’s start with you.

Maybe you’re on holiday, frustrated that your needs never seem to get met.Maybe you’re thinking: They never stop talking. When do I get a break?Maybe it’s: They’re so needy—I just need some personal space.Or maybe: I feel powerless. I can’t give everyone what they need. There’s not enough of me to go around.

These are all valid.Say them. Write them. Journal them. Tell your partner.You’re human. It’s hard.

But once we recognise those feelings, we can start to reframe them.

Try:

“There are a lot of needs in this house—we just need to figure out how to meet them together.”“They’re not doing this to irritate me—it’s a sign of an unmet need.”“Right now, it’s overwhelming. I need to prioritise x, and that’s okay.”

And don’t forget your needs, including your sensory needs. Ask yourself:

• What’s feeling unfulfilled right now?

• Which of my sensory preferences are clashing with my child’s?

• What behaviours am I finding really triggering?

  
  

What if we got curious instead of reactive?

That thing your child is doing—humming, tapping, rocking, chewing, crawling under the sofa, wrapping themselves in your jumper—it’s likely not just “weird” or “naughty.”

It’s probably regulation.

They’re trying to:

• Stay focused during a boring task

• Calm themselves after a stressful school day

• Stay in control when everything feels tricky

So instead of jumping in to stop it, try observing.

“I noticed you’re doing X. I wonder if that’s helping your body feel better?”

Once we understand the feedback their behaviour is giving them, we can collaborate.

Practical tools that help

✅ Observe when, where, and how behaviours show up

✅ Think: What need is this meeting for them?

✅ Talk about it outside the moment

✅ Build awareness: “When I feel ___, I can ___.”

✅ Create a plan before things go sideways

For example:

“I can see you want to be upside down a lot—maybe that’s helping your body feel good? But in this space, it’s not safe. Do you want to use the climbing frame upstairs or find a tree in the garden?”

Or:

“That sound feels good to you, but it’s too much for me right now. You could go upstairs with your karaoke mic, or if you want to stay here, I’ll need you to find a quieter version—or I’ll move to the kitchen so I can focus.”

It’s not about shutting things down—it’s about meeting the need in a way that works for everyone.

Let’s plan ahead so overwhelm doesn’t win

Don’t wait for meltdowns. Be proactive.

Before a family event or school holiday:

• Pack sensory tools

• Agree on a ‘secret signal’ to leave

• Bring two cars if needed

• Make sure there’s a quiet space for downtime

• Set clear, kind boundaries ahead of time

You can support your child’s needs and your own. You just need the right tools and plan.

Want help figuring this out?

If you’re overwhelmed by all the books, blogs, webinars—and can’t tell what will actually work in your family—1:1 coaching is for you.

Together, we’ll:

• Unpack your family’s needs

• Build awareness of sensory patterns and triggers

• Create a personalised toolkit that supports everyone

• Plan ahead for tricky moments before they happen

🌟 “Coaching has made a big difference in helping me feel more equipped and confident in my parenting… I think the impact has been significant not just for me, but for all my family.” — Parent Feedback

Let’s work together We’ll find the rhythm that works for your family. You’ll feel confident, prepared, and like you’re no longer carrying it all alone.

👉 Book your free discovery call today and let’s create a calmer, more connected family life—without ignoring your own needs to do it.