Rediscovering Yourself: Finding Your Identity Beyond Caregiving

Who are you outside the family home?

Outside the endless to-do list, the constant emotional checking-in, the planner always anticipating the next transition.Who are you without the noise, the needs, the next thing?

It’s a question so many of my clients face.

They come to me saying things like:“Resentment was building. I was completely burned out.”

Caregiving comes in many forms—parenting young children, supporting neurodivergent teens, caring for aging parents, even navigating the emotional world of pets or partners. Each role has its rewards. But when caregiving becomes your whole world, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself.

One client shared,

“I’ve just been going through the motions. I’ve given up. Doing something for me felt like just another thing on my to-do list, one more burden I had to plan for.”

That moment of honesty is so common and so powerful. Because it opens the door to change.

One of the most impactful shifts I see in this work is clients giving themselves permission to meet their own basic needs.Not just surviving the day, but reconnecting with what brings joy, rest, meaning, and clarity.

You matter, too.

Let’s pause and ask:

• What brings you joy?

• What helps you feel safe and grounded?

• What makes you laugh?

• What helps you switch off?

• Who or what encourages you?

And just as importantly—who can you do these things with, adding the bonus of connection?

It doesn’t always mean getting away from your family (although that can be helpful!). It might be about doing something alongside them—modelling that your needs matter too. A walk together. A bath while they read nearby. Music on loud and a kitchen dance party.

One client told me, “Going back to the gym and doing weights has kept me sane! I had got so disconnected from everything.”

Another shared,

“Last week we were close to crisis, but taking time to focus on what we needed and creating a plan brought peace. It all calmed down a lot.”

This is the power of small changes, starting with what’s life-giving in this season.

So ask yourself: What can I do this week that helps me feel like me again?

You might try:

• A list of 5-minute resets (deep breathing, standing outside with a hot drink)

• A list of 30-minute joys (journaling, a podcast, drawing, listening to your playlist while cooking)

• A list of 60-minute blocks (a class, a solo outing, a hobby revisit)

Need help sticking with it? Maybe you need a class for accountability or a body double to commit with you, same time, same place each week, so you don’t have to plan.

And if you don’t even know what you like anymore? That’s okay, and it’s more common than you think.

Start exploring:

• Try a new recipe.

• Order a meal that’s just for you.

• Revisit an old interest.

• Look through pre-caregiving photos. What did you love back then?

• create a vision board https://www.theearlyyearscoach.com/post/who-do-you-want-to-be-in-2023

  
  

I’ve been printing out my own photos this summer. It’s helping me remember what lights me up and making it easier to prioritise those things again.

So what will you do?

If you’re ready to reconnect with who you are outside of caregiving, I’d love to work with you 1:1.

Let’s spend 3 or 6 months together exploring what supports you, brings you joy, and helps you build habits that allow space for you—not just your responsibilities.