“The water tasted wrong.” Why holidays can be so hard for neurodivergent children and their families

“The water tasted wrong.”

This was something a parent shared after a holiday.

I’m not talking about a trip abroad.

I’m talking about a holiday cottage in the UK.

A different part of the country.

A different tap.

A different mattress.

Different smells.

Different sounds.

Different light coming through the curtains.

Different food.

Different routines.

Different expectations.

For many children, that’s exciting.

For many neurodivergent children and children with sensory processing differences, it can be a huge neurological challenge.

This child stopped drinking tap water for the whole week because it tasted different.

To many people, that might sound fussy or irrational.

It wasn’t.

Their sensory system was doing exactly what it was designed to do — detecting difference and scanning for safety.

Water from a different area can genuinely taste different because of variations in minerals and treatment. Many of us notice it briefly before our brains filter it out.

Some brains don’t.

Instead, that unexpected sensory input continues demanding attention.

And when one sensory system is already working overtime, everything else can become harder too.

It’s never just about the water

The whole sensory system can become heightened.

The unfamiliar bed feels uncomfortable.

The bedding smells different.

The blackout curtains don’t quite block the light.

The fridge hums.

The seagulls start calling at 5am.

The favourite breakfast isn’t available.

The shower sounds different.

The toilet flush is louder.

The beach is windy.

The café is busy.

Everyone keeps saying:

“Come on! It’ll be fun! We’re on holiday!”

Meanwhile, your child’s nervous system is quietly saying:

“Nothing feels predictable anymore. Nothing feels safe.”

For children with sensory differences, autism, ADHD, anxiety, or developmental differences, these changes can require enormous amounts of neurological effort.

It isn’t about being difficult.

It is about the amount of information their brain is having to process.

The neuroscience behind holiday overwhelm

Our brains are prediction machines.

Every day, they rely on familiar routines, environments, and sensory experiences to reduce the amount of information they need to process.

When everything changes at once, the brain has to work much harder.

For some children, the increased sensory and cognitive load can push their nervous system into a state where protection becomes the priority.

The brain moves away from exploration and flexibility and towards keeping safe.

This is when we might see fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown responses.

That can look like:

• Refusing food or drink

• Wanting the same programme repeatedly

• Increased anxiety

• More meltdowns

• Difficulty sleeping

• Clinginess

• Aggression

• Withdrawal

• Seeming “unreasonable”

They’re not choosing to be difficult.

Their nervous system is working incredibly hard simply to cope.

And then there are the parents

Holiday photos rarely capture the hours spent troubleshooting.

Finding the “right” cereal.

Driving around looking for the only yoghurt they’ll eat.

Co-regulating after another unexpected change.

Trying to keep siblings happy.

Negotiating another change of plan.

Managing everyone else’s disappointment.

Holding your own emotions together because everyone else needs you first.

All while carrying the quiet pressure to feel grateful.

“You should be enjoying this.”

“You’re lucky to be away.”

But for many SEND families, holidays aren’t always restorative.

They’re another environment to carefully manage.

You’re parenting without your familiar supports.

Without your predictable routines.

Without your safe spaces.

Without knowing where everything is.

Sometimes without grandparents, neighbours, or trusted friends nearby.

You don’t stop parenting on holiday.

Often, you parent even harder.

The cruel irony...

Around day six or seven, something starts to shift.

Your child begins to relax.

They know where the bathroom is.

They’ve accepted the different water.

They’ve learnt what breakfast looks like.

Their nervous system finally begins to predict the environment.

Then it’s time to pack up and go home.

And even home doesn’t feel quite right.

Their own bed suddenly feels unfamiliar again.

The transition back is another huge adjustment.

That first night home can be just as dysregulating as the first night away.

Everyone is exhausted.

No one sleeps.

And Monday arrives far too quickly.

It’s no wonder so many parents say:

“I need another holiday to recover from the holiday.”

The unexpected part...

Sometimes children cope remarkably well while they are away.

They hold it together.

They adapt.

They manage.

And then they come home and everything falls apart.

Why?

Because home is where the nervous system finally feels safe enough to release the tension it has been holding.

The big emotions, exhaustion, and behaviours that appear afterwards are not always a sign that the holiday went badly.

Sometimes they are a sign that your child has been working incredibly hard.

If this is your family...

Please know this.

You haven’t failed.

Your child isn’t spoilt.

They’re not trying to ruin the holiday.

Their nervous system is working overtime to make sense of a world that suddenly feels unpredictable.

Sometimes success isn’t measured by how many attractions you visited.

Sometimes success is getting everyone home safe and still connected.

Sometimes it’s deciding that one outing is enough.

Sometimes it’s ordering the same meal every day because it feels safe.

Sometimes it’s staying in the holiday cottage while everyone else heads to the beach.

That’s not giving in.

That’s responsive parenting.

That’s understanding the brain behind the behaviour.

Before your next trip, consider:

⭐ What sensory things will be different? (sleep, food, noise, smells, lighting)

⭐ What familiar items can travel with you to create connection and predictability?

⭐ Which parts of your child’s routine can stay the same?

⭐ How can you build recovery time into the holiday — and afterwards — not just activities?

Because sometimes the most supportive holiday is not the busiest one.

It is the one where your child’s nervous system has enough safety to enjoy it.

I’d love to hear from you

Does this resonate with your family?

What part of holidays do your children find most challenging?

And what has helped them feel just a little bit safer away from home?

Share your experiences below. You never know which parent needs to hear they are not the only one.

💛 If you are constantly wondering why everyday situations become overwhelming for your child, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Together, we can understand your child’s nervous system, identify patterns and triggers, and create practical strategies that make family life feel more manageable.

If you’d like to explore 1:1 coaching, I’d love to support you.

📧 Jo@theearlyyearscoach.com

Because when we understand the nervous system, we stop asking:

“What’s wrong with my child?”

and start asking:

“What does my child need to feel safe?”